The Federal Reserve is facing a crucial battle tonight! The fate of the suckers depends entirely on the cards Powell has up his sleeve.

Sorry brothers,

Tonight, the belts of global retail investors,

It’s all in Powell’s pants!

This old fox is holding two knives.

On the left is the guillotine of the most severe inflation in 30 years,

On the right is the detonator for the interest rate cut nuclear bomb.

Those bastards on Wall Street are hugging young models and drinking champagne in nightclubs, while their pants are already wet!

Is the Federal Reserve showing off or backing down this time?

At two o’clock in the morning, casino owners around the world are collectively staring at Powell’s belt:

Saying “Absolutely no interest rate cuts” (May no cut probability 82%),

Secretly crazy to jerk off to the June interest rate cut,

(Traders bet on three consecutive declines, experts only dare to bet twice)

Atlanta Fed releases toxic gas: if we continue down this path,

There is a 75% probability that an economic hard landing is inevitable!

Translated into human words: “If you don’t cut interest rates, you’re going to jump off the building!” "

How could such an important moment be without Trump, the troublemaker?

This morning, the understanding king directly threw a firecracker into the pants of the Federal Reserve.

Appoint community bank madam Bowman as the regulatory queen!

This woman opened a bank in Kansas back in the day,

Lending is more frequent than distributing condoms in a brothel.

Now let her manage the entire American bank?

The big shots on Wall Street are already laughing like pigs in the bathroom—regulation in the future? Non-existent!

It still has to be the understanding king who has influence.

Once the appointment is announced, the crypto veterans collectively indulge in their fix.

Large holders gobble up 167,000 BTC

The Japanese leek king Metaplanet just added another 150 bitcoins.

Now I have 3,200 flatbreads stuffed in my crotch, so I don’t panic!

This bastard Strategy is even more ruthless, issuing 500 million dollars in preferred stock (10% annual interest) to prepare for a big gamble on Bitcoin. Damn! Is this a casino or a pyramid scheme?

Riding on this news, the altcoin mad dogs are unleashed,

These wild dogs raised by whales are about to bite! **

The current market situation is like a brothel selecting a courtesan:

Sonic this骚货 is known as “EVM Pile Driver”.

It can do 10,000 orders per second, and the monthly trading volume of Hyperliquid is 1.2 billion.

The order book is directly etched on the chain for Wall Street to see it naked.

Filecoin engages in yellow storage, Render plays GPU mining, Helium coin does IoT hookups.

These cottage dingoes were fed aphrodisiacs by whales, just waiting for Powell to shout “open the gate and release the water” tonight,

Direct performance group climax!

But if Old Bao dares to say “wait a little longer,”

Performing free fall from the rooftop for you in a minute!

Let’s talk about the incapable A Dou – Ethereum,

Is Aether going to be a soft egg or a hardcore slut tonight? **

This girl is now paralyzed like a dead fish in 1900 knives up and down,

Even FETH has a net outflow of 3.3 million US dollars!

Those bastards on Wall Street are shouting about the “smart contract revolution”.

The chips were secretly exchanged for big pancakes in the crotch!

Take a look at the on-chain data, it’s even more infuriating.

The whale address holdings have shrunk by 12% in three days, and the big players are fleeing faster than a club’s anti-prostitution sweep.

Gas fees have dropped significantly (average $1.2), and the DeFi folks are reluctant to even spend money on a hotel.

Cancun upgrade? Upgrade your m egg! That group of losers on L2 just finished their fun and still won’t pay.

The trading volume depends on the earth dogecoin to jerk off,

But, brothers, don’t be in a hurry!

The concubine still held two handfuls of aphrodisiacs in her hand:

1. Ether ETF: Although the SEC’s approval probability is less than 20% in May, BlackRock is constantly pressuring the regulators.
2. Staking Frenzy: 32% of ETH is locked in staking pools, equivalent to the club’s top player breaking their own legs — even if they want to run, they can’t!

Brothers, keep an eye on your aunt’s crotch tonight,

If you dare to fall below 1700, send it directly to the love hotel to pick up guests;

If Powell suddenly tightens and breaks through 2150 when he is supposed to ease,

Hurry up and fill her with viagra to increase her position!

Remember, playing with a mistress is like soliciting a tyrant chicken,

Be ruthless when it’s time to be tough, and don’t look back when it’s time to run!

If you want to eat meat, don’t go to sleep before 2:30 AM tonight.

Powell’s fart has to be sniffed to determine whether it smells like chives or shit.

The imitation now resembles a sexually excited teddy bear,

If you want to play, just grab Sonic or superfluid ones that have a benefactor.

The fact that Bitcoin is firmly holding at 83,000 is an illusion; large holders have already set up a trampoline below 78,000 to prepare for bottom fishing.

If Trump’s regulatory queen successfully takes office,

Hurry up and buy bank concept coins (even though we don’t know what they are yet)

Final warning: Tonight is either Wealth Freedom Night or Rooftop Party Night!

Get ready for the fast-acting heart-saving pill; those who are timid can take a small stool to sit and watch.

Those who are bold can seek out the big players for a strategy to try something new.

#BTC #ETH#sol