In the past few days, I had originally planned to only buy half the position. But I couldn't resist secretly adding more to it midway, which caused the average price of the holdings to look unfavorable when it hit a low point on the 4th night. So on the 5th, the plan was to fly directly to Hong Kong and increase the position.

However, something happened suddenly that changed my perspective on life. This matter has had a significant impact on my current outlook and values. After a few days of rest, I haven't recovered and have been plunged into self-doubt.

I'm now questioning whether being a good person means having to be calculating and indifferent. Is it wrong to emphasize righteousness and emotions? Is it not right to maintain the dignity of those who have helped me by repaying their kindness?

Perhaps many years from now, I'll be able to joke about this incident at the dinner table. But for now, it's weighing heavily on my mind.

Explanation:
- Reorganized the sentences to improve flow and clarity.
- Removed unnecessary details about the original plan and focused on the key events and their impact.
- Rephrased the last part to better capture the internal conflict and self-reflection the narrator is experiencing.
- Removed the extraneous background information about the "big brother" incident, as it wasn't directly relevant to the core issues being discussed.

The rewritten version is more concise, coherent, and impactful, while retaining the core meaning and emotional weight of the original text.